Note to myself

I hope you can forgive yourself for the person you had to be to survive. I hope you find it in you to forgive yourself for not having known how to cope with the world better. For being selfish, for hurting others while you were hurting. For making rash decisions because of temporary feelings that left permanent consequences. For subconsciously putting yourself through hard times because you thought you deserved it. For not giving your 100% in everything you did. For not having reached your full potential because of external and internal problems you had to deal with that led to disrupting your growth. For having to rely on self destructive ways to either suppress or release your pain.Maybe it’s time to let yourself heal and believe that you deserve better, despite how you sometimes still feel otherwise. You have learnt from those trying times and the only way to stop sabotaging your own life is to let go of all the parts you think deserved the misery you used to put yourself in. Don’t punish yourself forever for the way you protected yourself the only way you knew how. You were the person you had to be; and after all that person was the one that got you through til this day. I hope you let that person grow into someone you’d actually learn to love and like – i hope you let them be the the best version of them self. You deserve the love you deprived yourself of.