Dating is not like the old days

Dating these days is so dam screwed up ...The way people date is shaped by the culture they live in. In the modern day and age, apps like Tinder and Bumble provide people with long lists of potential lovers. This, plus an increasingly open and liberal attitude to casual sex and dating in the western world or for that matter anywhere in the world.., has meant that it can be difficult to really hold a relationship down.We’re used to convenience. We’re used to swiping on a screen and talking to a new person. It’s all too easy, too upfront, and too available. This means that our standards for long term commitment become impossibly high. We have such a high availability of potential partners that we can afford to be picky. Too picky.There’s nothing wrong with having standards, but it’s important to know which standards are reasonable and which aren’t. Loyal, fun, loving, kind – sure, take your pick. Totally perfect? You’re going to be left wanting. Perfection just isn’t something that anyone can possibly achieve.Perfection does not exist and why would anyone want a perfect person to begin with?

These days, we’re saturated with media that paints us and idealized picture of what love should look like. We scroll through our phones and are bombarded with images of perfect, gorgeous, happy people massively in love. That isn’t reality. That’s a highlight reel.It's a one way ticket to nowhere..The availability of potential lovers today means that you can take your pick of who you want. We’re far less likely to want to stick around and make things work with one person when things get tricky because it’s far more convenient to just pick up another card from the deck than it is to put in the hard work that is required to make a relationship work.These days when thing get rough people walk and just toss aside time and emotions put into the relationship..Relationships are the most complicated thing in the world. They’re extremely difficult to nail down. People aren’t perfect. Everybody has their flaws, and even if you’re in the honeymoon stage where you think they’re perfect, sooner or later you’re going to be slapped in the face with all of the things that are wrong with your partner. If you’re going to make things work with someone, it requires hard work, compromise, and, above all else – persistence. You need to have the ability to hang on in there when things get rough. You need to be committed to making things work with someone, as much as you possibly can.The convenience and ease of access to partners which we see in modern (especially online) dating culture means that all of this is easily pushed to the side in favor of trying to find Mr or Mrs ‘Right’. The problem is, no one is ‘right’ – not really. Everyone has something wrong with them if you look long and hard enough.

People today often don’t want to rush into any kind of commitment. The idea of labels, of saying that you’re in a relationship and want to be together can all just be too much.It requires a level of persistent hard work that we just aren’t prepared to put in.

The problem is that until you’re willing to put in that hard work, things will never work out with anyone.It’s easy to overthink things. A text (or the lack of one), a weird tone of voice, a funny look – anything can be analyzed to death until we’re convinced that a person doesn’t really like or love us, or that they’re going to cheat on us, or that they’re going to turn around and leave us one day.We’re scared to get hurt, so we refuse to commit.The reality is that we can’t be certain of anything. There’s always the ‘what if…’ in the back of our minds. It will always be there. There is always room to doubt anything and everything.Doubt kills more dreams than reality ever will..You can’t expect to achieve anything in life if you’re not prepared to take risks and work hard. If you want a fairy-tale relationship, then you have to eventually take a chance on someone and commit to them. You have to be prepared to put in the hard work. You have to be prepared to suffer in order to make it work.In the end, you have to accept that you can’t control everything. You have to accept that if someone’s going to hurt you, they’re going to hurt you. You have to be prepared to take a chance to find out.Its taking that first step that is the hardest .. but life begins one small step at a time as a child why can't it be the same as an adult..?When many single people think about their love life, they’re filled with a feeling of deep anxiety. They have a craving for closeness, affection, intimacy, and love that being single just can’t fulfil. However, there’s another way of looking at things. In my opinion, it’s better to stay single than to end up settling for someone that’s wrong for you, just because you don’t want to be alone.No one wants to end up being trapped in a relationship fuelled by anger, resentment, and hate. No one wants to end up being with someone that they can’t even stand.Relationships are by far the hardest thing to navigate in life. It involves two people having to share their minds and bodies with each other. It’s an interpersonal bond between two separate entities – and that’s something that’s incredibly difficult to work through.It involves a lot of compromise, a lot of tough love, and plenty of hard conversations and even harder decisions. These things are fundamental in any relationship. Becoming that close and intimate with someone involves peering into the darkest corners of their mind – and accepting whatever you find, good or bad. These things are hard enough when it’s the right person. When it’s the wrong person, a relationship can be an absolute nightmare,it’s better to wait for the right person to come along in your life. The person who you can be yourself with. The person who you can be open and vulnerable with, the person who will always do their best to understand.

Being alone really isn’t so bad if you can change your perspective. In fact, it can be a really positive thing in your life. It gives you room to grow, explore, and work out who you really are. It’s necessary sometimes to have the space to be able to do these things. Being single is that space.Being alone is far better than going on dates where you wished you’d stayed at home, or spending time with someone you’re supposed to really like and care about and wishing you were anywhere else in the world.It’s much better to have the time and opportunity that being single provides than it is to become suffocated by a relationship with the wrong person. you need to be nurtured and given the chance to grow and blossom. When you’re single, you can do that all by yourself. When you’re in a relationship with the right person, you can do that for each other. When you’re with a relationship with someone that’s wrong for you, your growth is going to be stunted. The two of you become like a parasite for each other, taking all of the others’ energy and giving nothing in return. You’re not going to have what you need to flourish when you’re with the wrong person.Be alone until you know for sure that you’ve met the right person. Until you’ve met someone who genuinely cares about you in the same way you care for them. Be alone until you have someone with whom you’re each other’s number one priority.