Becca

I'm usually not want to be at a loss for words, but it seems as though times like these leave me questioning the happenings of life and the direction we, as people, are suppose to go in. Set aside my passion for life , my family and God for giving me so many chances to do the things I so love to do, I am an everyday photographer, I have a studio at home and I am very comfortable with people while I'm working, not so much when I'm not, any how I try and limit my Make a Wish sessions because I am so passionate about what I do and I need to emotionally be able to handle them as well as balance my other sessions At times I am drained from a session but when I look at the story, in its entirety, it gives me the energy to keep going. I feel compelled to share these stories and that alone gives me the will and the drive to continue. I met a lady a few months back at a fundraiser and later learned she has Acute Myeloid Leukemia that has spread through out her body she has under gone 2 rounds of chemo and is in the process of her last radiation treatments now. She came up to me and ask if I would be interested in doing a family session for her, I immediately agreed and gifted the session to her and her family. Later I was asked again to do a similar session for a family that was dealing with cancer with their youngest son who was 13. I really had to think long and hard if this was the direction I wanted to go, my heart said yes for them , my mind said can I actually handle and balance this with minimal emotions. So I decided that it was a good thing to do the right thing to do so here I am. When I accept a client, I briefly learn about their personal story, photograph them and do my very best to showcase who they are as a person. Some sessions are sad, some show life's triumphs while others are people struggling to just live life day to day because they don't know when time will run out for them, I have been in their shoes, I can understand how they feel and that in its self makes it easier for me to .But me being me I can't do it with no emotions, I feel their pain through their forced smiles during the session and I see the love in their eyes for the person they know they will soon lose, and this breaks my heart and sometimes it's so hard to hold back or hide the tears, but it happens and they understand me as much as I do them. On Tuesday, one of those said clients went to the Doctor's complaining of back pain. That's when they ran a scan and found out that her tumors have spread. They told her that it's only a matter of time until the tumors paralyze her completely. She left feeling defeated and scared. She still doesn't understand why she is the one with cancer, why the treatment won't work, and why her body is slowly shutting down. So she has decided to not go forward with any more chemo treatments, but she will, however, be receiving radiation in multiple places of her body next week. It has been 5 weeks since her last round of chemo and her body is still recovering. On October 29th she has to undergo another body scan which will tell her exactly where the cancer has spread in her body. , her daughter was two months old yesterday. She just adores her mother and her favorite place to be is in her Momma's arms while she's is standing, but due to her back being in so much pain she has to have help throughout the day with the baby. Her son is having a really hard time with all of this. He is six years old and death is something he's not comfortable with. no child at that age understands it, I'm an adult and I can't even begin to understand some things in life. Not that any of us are ever able to handle it but for a six year old to be faced with it in his life, is an entirely different scenario. He doesn’t understand why God has not fixed his Mommy. He asked her if he could a go with her when she goes to Heaven.This I cannot imagine having to answer this question to any child let alone my 6 yr old, She is so strong, and so brave to persevere daily as she pushes through the pain for her kids and her family. You can see the pain in her eyes, but the first thing you see is a beautiful smile on her face and the love she has for theses kids. She told me yesterday that her body hurts so bad it is almost impossible at times to just climb out of bed. But that she gets up as much as she can and goes on with normal life and normal everyday things. She and I had a long talk about death yesterday. She wanted to know, for herself, what was going to happen and she knew I would be honest. She said that the doctors are so quick to tell her she is dying but no one wants to explain how or when it will happen. I explained as much as I could through my beliefs and through what I have seen in the past with my battle but no two stories are ever the same.And I told her that she is in God's hands and he will walk her through it and guide her on this journey and that he was the only one who could do so, she smiled and said, God and me are going to meet real soon and I thought it would be a life time away , but it's my time and I'm not scared, I'm sad to have to leave but not scared. Although I do believe in miracles,and I pray for one for her, were told she won't get it.I always say nothing is impossible and God can give us a miracle in an instant. She has given up her life so her daughter, her baby girl could have hers. Emotionally, she is worried she wont have the energy to do the few things she’d like to with her kids. I have encouraged her that any time which she feels able to do so, to take advantage of those little moments. If I need to come take her out, just to get a breather or to talk , all she has to do is call and I will drop what I'm doing and be on my way., . Her family is so supportive and helpful as well. Her fiancé is in the military so he is unable to take random days off work and although he does his very best to do what he can when he is home her family and friends have been there to to make sure she is looked after and do whatever is possible to help.Again I am encouraging you all to pray for my sweet client whom I can now call, my friend. Pray for peace, and comfort. Pray that she is not in any pain and please, dear friends please, pray for this sweet lil boy. This little man can light up any room the second he walks in and to see his Mommy suffering in pain is dimming that light. We Love you Becca ,and are so PROUD of you and the courage you have already displayed and continue to display daily. We support the choices you make as a person, friend and as a mother. We believe in miracles and we together will continue to pray for one. Thank you for letting me be a part of your journey. You have touched so many lives and are a true depiction of how deep a Mother's love runs.For me you have taught me the true meaning of courage and you have touched my heart and soul in so many ways , praying for a miracle for this family, Never lose hope because although miracles are rare, they are possible..