Wish I had known this 20 yrs ago

I think most of the fear of growing up comes from our belief that we are not living up to our potential, not doing the best with the time we have, and that maybe we could have done something better. There’s nothing I can do with a painful past. It’s like trying to make something out of a handful of broken glass. But if I could, these advice would have come in handy.

1. The importance of taking advantage of your childhood years. Too many of us grow up quickly – either by choice or circumstance. But what we often forget is when adulthood hits, there is no going back.

2. Make peace with your past. Adulthood growing pains are hard enough without holding onto hurtful past. If you can learn to let go of things intentionally, your twenties will be a bit lighter.

3. See people as they really are, while also looking for the best in everyone. Most of the time in our youth, we are not mature enough to see people as they are. We far too often see people how we want to see them. But learning to believe them when they show you who they are, while also trying to look for the good in everyone, is a valuable virtue.

4. How great parents really are. Even if you were well aware of having wonderful parents, it doesn’t quite register until you are no longer in their care.

5. You are not as alone as you think you are. If someone had told us before we became twenty-something that the pain each one of us experiences is not unique, maybe we would have felt less alone in times when we were most lonely. Maybe the pain could have been something that brought us together, instead of something we wanted to distance each other from.

6. Your heart will get broken over and over and over again. Not just by romantic love, but by friends too. And indeed by dreams with expiry dates, and missed opportunities. You are also going to be a heart-breaker.

7. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. But people are also not going to be thinking of you at all. The latter shouldn’t be a bruise to your ego – it should feel like freedom. And the former is why you should always strive to do things that align with your views, that reflect your character, and that are ultimately what you think is best.

8. You are going to have to learn some things the hard way. No matter how much advice you are given, no matter how much you wrestle with some things, you are probably going to make some bad decisions. And you will beat yourself up about it because experience will teach you a bitter lesson or two (or several). There is no sugar-coating here – deal with it.

9. Gratitude has a lot to do with happiness. You are probably going to wonder whether you are happy, why you are not, and if you could be happier. If you can cultivate an attitude of gratitude, you are going to realize that you always have a reason to be thankful. And believe me, you will need those reasons many times in your twenties.

10. Always, always, always trust your gut. Learning to trust yourself and your decisions is a lifetime lesson. But in the end, there are few things that will feel more empowering. And this is true in your twenties, and beyond.